In a world where to-go cup designs can spark massive levels of outrage for not being Christmas-y enough, McDonalds isn’t playing your PC reindeer games anymore and has instead decided to say, “Screw it. Have our cups depict someone spreading their butt cheeks.”
As reported by Grub Street, the aggressive McCafe cup design was intended to depict mittens (or so the company would have you believe). But as Twitter user @SamSykesSwears first noticed, an ever so slight modification to the design–turning the thumbs into hands—reveals the true reason for the season, which is of course a pair of incredibly toned legs and butt cheeks being manually spread to show their “warmest greetings.”
Now how the hell are Starbucks cups in the news again and no one’s talking about a guy spreading his cheeks open on McDonald’s cups pic.twitter.com/QmIuZiDJst
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) December 11, 2016
It is the greatest holiday cup of all time.
But we here at Sprudge think there are more layers to this onion. This cup is more than just a bawdy work of art masquerading as a poor design in a medium that sends people into howling shitfits this time of year. No, no, that would be too simple. Too inelegant. At the center of this blooming bulbous maze is a complete overhaul of how we consume liquids from to-go cups. And this revolution is hiding in plain sight. “Where?” you are surely asking by now. It’s simple, just put the X in Xmas. Or maybe it’s an *.
Suck a butt, haters, and to all a goodnight.
Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network.